Notes from the Mountain

I listened to Anna and Jores talk about goal setting this week, and somewhere between airplanes flying to Vienna, running, weight loss, career reinvention, Nike, and a surprisingly serious discussion about what happens after you look good in a tuxedo, I realized something.

We talk about goals all the time, but we rarely stop to ask why we need them in the first place.

Most of the conversation around goal setting seems to focus on how to set a good goal. Make it specific. Make it measurable. Give it a deadline. Break it into smaller steps. Track your progress.

All useful things.

But before any of that, there is a more fundamental question: what actually changes when you decide that you are going somewhere?

Without a Goal, Life Can Still Be Very Busy

Jores used the example of an airplane. A plane leaving Toronto needs a destination. Otherwise, it can fly very fast, burn plenty of fuel, cover an impressive distance and still not get anywhere in particular.

Humans have perfected their own version of this.

You can fill your days remarkably well without ever deciding where those days are supposed to take you. There is work to do, messages to answer, groceries to buy, people who need you, appointments, errands, television, social media and whatever unexpected problem has decided to introduce itself today.

None of those things is necessarily unimportant. They are simply very good at filling the available space.

Anna asked an uncomfortable question during the conversation: if you look back at the past few months or even the past few years, what has actually changed?

Not what have you done. What has changed?

What is different about your health, career, business, finances, relationships or yourself?

I think that distinction between doing and achieving is worth sitting with.

You can do an enormous amount and still remain more or less where you started.

A Goal Gives Your Effort Somewhere to Go

One of the simplest reasons to set a goal is that it gives you direction.

It says that, out of all the things you could spend your time and energy on, this is something you have decided matters.

That doesn't mean every goal needs to come with a spreadsheet and seventeen performance indicators. Anna made an interesting point that some goals can be less precise and still provide direction. You may want to become a better leader, have a greater impact or grow into a different version of yourself before you know exactly how to measure that.

Specificity helps, particularly when it is time to turn an aspiration into action, but direction comes first.

Once you know where you are going, you can begin making decisions against it.

Does this matter?

Does that opportunity help?

Is what I am doing today moving me toward the future I said I wanted?

Without a destination, these questions are surprisingly difficult to answer.

There Is Something Else That Happens When You Choose a Goal

Anna also talked about what happens when we take something that has been floating around in our heads and make it concrete.

We write it down. We keep it somewhere we can see it. We decide, deliberately, that this is what we are working toward.

And then we start noticing things.

Anna used her current health goal as an example. Once health and weight loss became a clear focus, choices and opportunities related to that goal became more noticeable. Things that might previously have disappeared into the background suddenly became relevant.

There is a practical explanation for at least part of this. We are surrounded by far more information than we can consciously process, so attention has to be selective. When something becomes important to us, we become more likely to notice information connected to it.

Whatever explanation you prefer, the useful part is the same: clarity changes what gets your attention.

A vague thought that it might be nice to improve something someday doesn't have quite the same effect as deciding, "This is where I'm going."

But Be Careful What You Make the Finish Line

This was where Jores complicated the conversation in a useful way.

Imagine your goal is to lose weight before a class reunion. You work hard, reach the number, attend the reunion looking magnificent in your jacket and collect the appropriate compliments.

Then what happens on Monday?

The goal has expired.

That doesn't make the original goal bad. A deadline and a concrete result can give us something useful to work toward. The problem comes when the result was the entire point.

Jores argued that some goals, particularly around health, need to extend beyond the event or number. Otherwise, it is entirely possible to reach the finish line and slowly return to where you started.

That led Anna to something I think is much more interesting than the usual discussion about goal achievement.

The real result of pursuing a meaningful goal may be the person you become while pursuing it.

The Number Can Change. More Importantly, So Can You.

Anna has been working toward a health goal. There is a measurable result attached to it, but during the conversation she described another change that has been happening alongside the number on the scale.

She gets dressed and goes running. She follows her weightlifting program. She keeps doing it consistently.

Somewhere in that process, while losing weight, she is becoming someone who exercises. A runner. Someone for whom movement is increasingly part of normal life.

That difference matters because eventually a goal ends.

The habits, beliefs and identity you developed while pursuing it don't necessarily have to.

The same idea applies well beyond health.

You can work toward a promotion, but the more interesting question might be whether you are becoming someone capable of leading other people well.

You can build a business, but perhaps the deeper change is becoming someone capable of making decisions, taking responsibility and leading that business.

You can work toward becoming a better public speaker, but eventually speaking with confidence can simply become something you know how to do.

A goal gives you a result to pursue. A good one also gives you a reason to grow.

Which Raises the Question: Whose Goal Are You Climbing Toward?

There was another point in the conversation that I think is easy to overlook.

The goal needs to be yours.

Not your parents' goal for you. Not your neighbour's version of success. Not something you decided you should want because everyone around you seems impressed by it.

You can work very hard toward a goal that doesn't belong to you. You might even achieve it.

The trouble comes afterward.

If the process hasn't changed what you actually value, the external motivation eventually disappears. The reunion ends. You get the promotion. Someone stops applauding. Then the old patterns have a habit of returning.

Perhaps this is why choosing the right goal deserves more thought than we usually give it.

Before asking how you are going to achieve something, it is worth asking why you want it and who you would need to become along the way.

Goal Setting Is Only the Beginning

Anna made this point repeatedly, and I think it is an important one to end on.

Setting a goal does not achieve the goal.

Annoying, I know.

Apparently writing "climb mountain" on a piece of paper does not transport you to the summit. I have lodged a formal complaint.

A goal starts the process. After that come the actions, habits, reviews, adjustments, setbacks and all the ordinary days when you have to continue despite not feeling particularly inspired.

But the fact that goal setting is only the first step doesn't make it an insignificant one.

It is the moment when you stop simply accepting the direction in which life happens to be moving and decide where you would like to go instead.

So, Where Are You Going?

Anna ended the conversation with an exercise that is probably more useful than another lesson on SMART goals.

Look back.

Think about the past few months or the past few years. What has changed? What have you achieved? Where are you growing?

And if you continued living exactly as you are living now, where would that trajectory take you?

Maybe you like the answer. Excellent.

If you don't, you don't need to redesign your entire life this afternoon.

Choose one area.

Ask yourself what you would genuinely like to change, achieve or become.

Then set one goal.

It won't do the climbing for you, unfortunately. But at least you'll know which direction to start walking.

And if you would like some company along the way, join Anna, Jores and the rest of us in the Focus & Fulfillment Facebook group. It's where these conversations continue beyond the podcast, where you can share what you're working toward, ask questions and learn alongside other people who are trying to be a little more intentional about where they're going.

I'll be there too.

Obviously. Someone has to supervise. 🐐

Author

Anna Angelova